I’d like to repost this because many of you haven’t seen it before. It was written back in 2009…
Talk about gifts that are wrapped in ugly packaging… I have come to realize that Almighty God has indeed blessed me with the gift of time. When it happened I viewed this illness as a tragedy that was certainly ruining my life! There I was sitting on the sidelines, watching everybody else go about their usual business, while I was being “set aside” and “left alone” in the shadows of this disease (Mitochondrial Myopathy, a form of Muscular Dystrophy). I was living what seemed a very hard, lonely, grief stricken, and isolated existence.
So why do I call it a gift, you ask? I was so broken and it was a last resort kind of thing… I turned to God because I wanted and needed answers. Very quickly and to my surprise, I found Him to be the answer. I was left alone to be with God and to learn more about Him. Now I know that to be left alone without God – would be too horrible for words.
It seems cruel at first, but when we are cut off from the earthly things and people we rely on for comfort and identity, God quickly becomes everything! It may mean that we do less outward, visible work, but the work that we end up doing has more depth and power. This scripture in Isaiah says it all…
“And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness—secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.
And why have I called you for this work? Why did I call you by name when you did not know me? It is for the sake of Jacob my servant, Israel my chosen one. I am the Lord; there is no other God.
I have equipped you for battle, though you don’t even know me, So all the world from east to west will know there is no other God.
I am the Lord, and there is no other. I create the light and make the darkness. I send good times and bad times.
I, the Lord, am the one who does these things.” (Isaiah 45: 3-7)
Again, it’s all about time and purpose. I know that God has allowed this difficulty to come because it has brought me closer to Him. I will not let this be a separation, but I will cling tighter and tighter to my Lord Jesus. I will still press on through my agonizing darkness, because God says there are more treasures to be found. Some of those treasures I can now see; in the form of being able to comfort others in their darkness, and to give encouraging words here and there…
But I know by being faithful and not giving up, I will surely find out that the most exquisite work in my life was done during these dark days. I know God and I know His Word intimately. Someday I will watch as He brings about goodness and beauty from all of my pain and tears.