“Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God. I will praise Him again—my Savior and my God.” Psalm 42: 5, 6
We all visit there. Some go there more than others, and to some it feels like they never left. Depression is an all too common emotion. Actually, it’s a form of bondage…mental torture. What a misconception to think Christians don’t get depressed! We’re human, just like everybody else. But there’s a major difference, a definite difference, the difference between life… and death.
“…let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” Romans 12: 2
You see, we have the Word of God to comfort us. The Psalms seem to be a great antidote in times of trouble, expressing the heart and soul of humanity. David and the other writers of the psalms honestly poured out their true feelings, and asked God for help with their fears and depression. They were real, not holding back their raw emotions. Many times I have risen from the depths of despair to new heights of joy–discovering again and again, the power of God’s everlasting love and comfort.
I don’t know how it works…it just does. There are a couple things I shared in my memoir about my personal struggles with depression and pity parties, and I’ll share them with you… There was one time I was talking to a friend of mine who has Multiple Sclerosis. We shared similar feelings of embarrassment and feeling ashamed of our bodies…it was the epitome of depression. But you know what? She reminded me of how shameful and embarrassed Jesus felt hanging on that cross. He was naked, for all of Jerusalem to glare at and mock. They shouted all kinds of obscenities, hurled insults, ridiculed Him, blindfolded and spit on Him, put a crown of thorns on His head, and threw dice for His clothes. THAT, my friends is embarrassment and humiliation! After being reminded of what Jesus endured, I can assure you that any pity party for myself I was having, was over. Can you see how God works? He sends people to speak truth to my soul, always…always at the exact moment I need clarity.
Many times I wanted to quit, (quit going to church, quit Bible studies, quit volunteering, and quit everything that required me to walk). Walking is just too hard when you always feel tired and drained of energy due to muscle atrophy and weakness. My flesh sometimes overtakes my spirit, where I can get really down and depressed. I think, “What’s the point? I really don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m too tired.” I’ve already begged God to take my life. Do you know what God showed me? He showed me 1 Kings 19; this is when the prophet Elijah felt pretty much like me. He told God that he had enough; it was too much, and begged Him to take his life. God saw Elijah and sent an angel to minister to him, and to lead him out of his depression. The angel gave him food for strength, and then let him rest. God then sent Elijah on his next mission: to speak God’s words. Elijah had many battles ahead of him, but he still had work to do. I whole heartily believe that I have more work to do. And yes, there will be more battles ahead.
I’ve read the story of Moses many times, but something recently jumped out at me… Moses was really frustrated with leading the Israelites in the wilderness. They were a royal pain, constantly whining and complaining. Moses got fed up with it and told God, “If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!” You can read this in Numbers 11. This tells me that I’m in good company! I’m sure that many of you can understand that frustration also. Because I’ve been there and at times still frequent this place, all I can say is: “keep plugging along” – it will get better. We have God’s promise that He has plans for our lives.
God always comforts me somehow, and knows how to get me out of my depression. He is so faithful! He always brings me back! His faithfulness never fails me– I will read something or hear something that touches my situation. While writing this, I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, which says:
“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.” Praise God!
