Hi. What a revelation I’ve had! I’ve shared it with a few close friends, but I’d like to now share this with you…
A week or two ago, I had told you about knee braces (knee cages) that were prescribed to help me extend my knees back…I won’t get into the boring mechanics of why because it’s long story. When I got them originally, I hated them (I wrote all about it in “Storms…”). Well my friends, it seems as though things have turned around, making me realize what a huge blessing they are! When I am wearing them, I can stand without the pain and extreme fatigue that I was plagued with for nine years! Nine years! Not only that, but they make my posture better, and I’m more stable when I’m on my feet. THAT is a miracle! A few days ago I had them altered to fit me better, so now I can look forward to putting them on and actually “keeping them on.”
Anyway, back to the revelation…
Last weekend, I happened to find a website created by a doctor who had been diagnosed with a similar neurological movement disorder as I have. One of the symptoms is something called, ataxia (loss coordination-balance). Again…making a long story short, this doctor was saying that despite of how the medical community views a person with ataxia (having no hope of ever improving their movement skills), he says that some movement skills can be relearned! He has proven it in his own life! If you are interested, his website is http://www.walkingwithataxia.com/. This doctor stressed that any change would have to first come from my desire, and that desire would have to come within me. When I came across those words, something from my past suddenly flashed before my eyes…
Back in 2000 is when this crazy disease appeared. I knew there was something wrong, but all of the medical tests said my health was normal. So the doctors I saw just sent me to physical therapy- in hopes exercise or something could get me better- They didn’t know. Well, it was at one of those visits to physical therapy; lying on one of the matted tables doing some crazy weight lifting exercises (I was so distraught knowing that they were doing absolutely nothing to improve my walking and coordination problems), when the song “Hero” by Mariah Carey started playing on the intercom. So there I was- doing these stupid exercises and listening to Mariah…
As I’m listening to these words I’m saying to myself… “I need answers. I’m trying so hard, and I’m looking inside myself. I’m not strong enough. I don’t get it.” My eyes started tearing. “I’m hurting so bad. I just don’t get it. I’m no hero. What does this song mean?”
In the past few days, I’ve listened to this and cried and cried. But this time, they were tears of joy because I’ve finally gotten it! God has been trying to get the message across to me that Jesus is my hero!! God gave me the answer 9 years ago, but I just didn’t understand. The lyrics continue...”You can find love…if you look within your soul, and the emptiness you know will disappear.”
Keep in mind that at that time I was unsaved. I was sharing this revelation with the ladies in my NEVER ALONE group, and one of them gave me the scripture…”While I was still a sinner, Christ died for me.”
And you will finally see the truth. That a hero lies in you.” Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus!